Judy Shepard Speaks Out Against Hate Crimes |
Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, who was brutally beaten and died in October 1998 because of his sexual orientation, spoke to a diverse crowd of faculty, students, and community members on March 22. Kathy Teehan, associate chancellor for enrollment services and university communications, introduced Shepard and thanked her for "contributing to UMass Boston's mission to educate the community about tolerance and hate crimes."
Shepard, a soft-spoken woman, described her son as a "loving, vibrant, understanding, kind young man," pointing out that "his homosexuality was not his only distinguishing quality." His death left a "hole in [her] existence," but also a need to avenge his murder not through violence and hate, but through education. Along with her husband, Dennis, she set up the Matthew Shepard Foundation, initially financed with donations made by various people to help defer Matthew's medical costs. She travels and speaks mainly to college students, and donates all of her speaking fees to the foundation, which in turn uses the monies to promote public awareness and education programs to "ensure that what Matt lived for and believed in will help others believe as well."
Shepard began by reading the statement she had made to the court at the trial of one of the convicted murderers, Russell Henderson, describing in detail the ordeal that her family had to go through just to get to the hospital where Matthew had been taken. At the time, she and her husband lived in Saudi Arabia, and had to travel for 25 hours to get to Ft. Collins, Colorado, all the while hoping that her son would hold on long enough for them to arrive.
Judy Shepard spoke on
March 22 at UMass Boston. |
After Matthew's death, the Shepards "realized that we knew nothing about what was going on in terms of civil rights. Laws are being passed but nothing is being done to change ingrained attitudes" and hatred of the unknown. Shepard described hate as "a learned behavior…a choice we make. We learn it from friends, family, the media, etc. The choice to hate will affect a person's whole life." Shepard believes that hate begins with hate language. When hate language--that is, derogatory words and insults that are ethnically or sexually charged--is accepted, hate crimes flourish. She cited Ghandi, who said, "we must become the change that we want to see." Jokes can be funny without being cruel or demeaning, but, according to Shepard, allowing hurtful jokes and language to take place causes a chain reaction, leading to crimes such as the one that caused her son's death. She indicated her disappointment that the Hate Crimes Prevention Act failed to pass, but is encouraged by signs that it will pass after its second introduction this summer. |
After reading her statement to the court, Shepard opened up the floor for questions and discussion. Many audience members expressed their support of Shepard, and also told personal stories involving coming out to parents and friends. A homosexual police officer thanked Shepard for her efforts, which had allowed his parents to have a better understanding of, for him, "how wonderful it is to be gay."
When questioned about the men who killed her son, Shepard stated, "I choose not to hate them." Rather then focusing on hating them, she said, "they simply do not exist for me." Shepard reiterated that hate is "not there to start with" but learned in schools and society. "Schools train you to be homophobic," Shepard said, and therefore "children should be educated about other lifestyles at an extremely young age."
On a final note, Shepard cautioned students about coming out, especially in small anti-gay communities, and advised them not to do so if it will pose a threat to their safety. She indicated that it's best to wait until the environment is gay-friendly. Although she understands the need to be able to live an open life, it should not be done in exchange for personal safety. "If you're true to yourself," she said, "the right things will happen at the right times."